When the vehicle you drive is not
running properly
you usually take it to a well trained mechanic. He or she
will perform an engine diagnostic to determine what might be
causing
the problem.
But what do you do when your
spiritual
life seems to be sputtering
along? The three step
"Spiritual
Engine Diagnostic" described below is
designed to help you sort out what might be causing your spiritual
sputtering.
Step One: Using a 4 Seat Car to Help Explain Decision
Making. In each of the 4 seats illustrated below sits one
of the 4 "passengers"
that
provide an input into
every
decision you make:
- Seat #1 represents the Physical You... Your
Body. Believing things about
the physical you like,
"I'm too fat, I'm too tall, I'm too short, I'm gorgeous, I'm perfect,
I'm ugly, or
I'm too something" can impact your decision making.
- Seat #2 represents the Psychological You... Your
Mind. Your thought patterns, your emotions, your passion level,
your intellect, your temperament, and your psychological stability can
impact your decision making.
- Seat #3 represents the Relationship
You... All the People in Your Life. For example, your spouse, or
ex spouse,
your children or step children, your parents, or in-laws, or former
in-laws, friends, or co-workers, neighbors, etc. can impact your
decision making.
- Seat #4 represents
the Moral You... The
rules, ethics, codes of conduct, world views, etc. that you choose to
follow. Belief systems like creation, evolution, religion,
politics, humanism, atheism, legalism, and the other umpteen "isms" can
impact your decision making.
The three "shaded" areas in your decision making vehicle are:
- A "GPS" indicator... installed by the manufacturer to
help guide you through life
- A "Baggage" compartment... where you
deposit the baggage you pick up along the way
- The
letters "M" and "F" between the four seats represent "M" for male,
and "F" for female
Does
that mean that men and
women (labeled Dave and Darlene below) operate differently
when making
decisions...
Duh!!
- "Dave" on the
left usually decides
what to do by "comparing" his actions
to what other men might do. For Dave, it's a physical or competition
thing... it's
about "doing" something, "solving" something, or "fixing"
something. Dave is mainly concerned with how his "doing
something,
solving something, or fixing something" stacks up
against other
guys.
"Feelings" and "emotions" do
play a role in a guy's decision making
process, but it's usually a secondary
role.
- "Darlene"
on the right usually
decides what to do by
considering how she "feels" about the decision to be made, and how her
actions
might impact the feelings of others. For Darlene, it's a relationship thing... it's
about "feelings" and "emotions."
"Analyzing" facts does
play a role in a woman's decision making
process, but it's usually a secondary
role.
- Neither
operating style is better or worse... they're just different... very
different!!
Step Two: How to Use the 4 Seat Decision Making
diagram: We have
provided a "Dave and Darlene" decision making
worksheet for you to
download here.
Once you have a copy of the
Dave and Darlene worksheet handy, ask yourself four basic questions:
- Is my current problem being driven by my physical health,
appearance, urges, or addictions
(Seat #1)
- Is
my current problem being driven by my thoughts and emotional drama when making
decisions (Seat #2)
- Is my current problem being driven by one or more people in my
life (Seat #3)
- Is my current problem being driven by the rules I have chosen to live
by (Seat #4)
Simply put,
one of
the 4 passengers
in
the "Dave and Darlene" diagram above
is
currently giving directions for
your life (either Your Body
- Your
Mind -
The People in your life - or The Rules you currently follow). The
other three passengers,
and
the baggage you are
carrying, will follow you thru life until (a) you decide to change
direction,
or (b) you decide to process the baggage in the trunk!
To help you better understand the inner workings between the 4
passengers
riding in your decision making vehicle, let's take a quick look at two
examples
provided below
that
illustrate how
the 4
passengers interact during your decision making process
:
Example One Above: 16 year old Dave feels lonely and
disconnected from
his peers. One day a young gang member introduces Dave to the
local gang. Young Dave now feels connected
and
important. The "people" in the gang now become
the most
important thing in Dave's young life (Seat #3). This means that
the
rules Dave will
now follow
(gang
rules, Seat #4), the way Dave will treat his
body and the body of other
people he comes in contact with (Seat #1), and what Dave now
thinks about and is
passionate about (Seat #2)
will
be driven by the "people" in the gang (Seat #3) and the rules they
follow (Seat #4).
Example Two Above: Darlene is 26. She is
divorced with two children. She feels alone and trapped.
One day
someone
introduces Darlene to
Christ.
When Darlene accepts Christ as her personal savior to rule and reign in
her
life forever, she realigns her life to reflect the
new most
important
person in
her life: Christ (Seat #3). This means that her
new
rules for living
will be
found in the Holy Bible (Seat #4); the way she now treats her
body and others around
her (Seat #1) will be guided by the most important person in
her life (Christ); and
her
thoughts and
passions (Seat #2) are now
guided by serving
the most important
person
in her life... Christ!
Simply put...
every
life decision you make is driven by what you consider to be
first
priority in
your life. And if and when your life priorities change, every
other
area in your life must also change if the
new life priority is to be
supported.
Step Three: Sorting out the
Baggage. A
list of
possible
"baggage" items from your
past
that might be causing you decision making problems
today is provided below:
- unresolved
psychological issues from your
childhood - abuse, or loss, or abandonment, etc., Seat #2
- adolescence
- when you became a genius...
"I know what is best for ME now!!" Seat #2
- college
- you are free from your unenlightened
parents... "all rules about my life are now equal",
Seat #4
- choice
of friends - they were behind me 100%
until... I ran out of money; I lost my car; I got in trouble, Seat #3
- dating/marriage
- he or she is soooooo perfect;
it will last forever, Seat #3
- kids
- wow, I'm a dad/mom... but why are kids so
time consuming? There's no time for ME! Seat #3
- divorce
- the perfect he or she that I married
has for some reason become a perfect jerk/bozo/moron, Seat #3
- remarriage
- ah... this is better, I think/hope.
Oh no... why am I always drawn to ______? Seat #2
- former
spouse with their new spouse - the
potential terrorist cell from Hades, Seat #3
- step
kids - a potentially unpleasant situation
for everyone, especially the step kids, Seat #3
- career
choice - it seemed like a good idea at
the time, but now I'm stuck. I hate my job! Seat #4
- brand
of spirituality - any brand works
during the good times. How about during a crisis? Seat #4
- declining
health - it happens, Seat #1 or #2
- accidental
physical disability - it happens,
Seat #1
- natural
disaster - it too could happen, Seat #1
- #2 or #3
- unexpected
loss of a parent or child - a humpty
dumpty, pieces everywhere, broken heart, Seat #3
- etc.
- you can bet that there will be several
unexpected etceteras in your life, Seats #1 - #2 - #3 - or #4
Once you have
sorted out what
might
have gone wrong in your past, or continues to go wrong today, we
recommend you consider asking
Christ
(Seat #3) to send
the Holy Spirit into your decision making vehicle to help you process
the
baggage. Carrying around all that "Junk in the Trunk" is
unnecessary, and it keeps you from using fully the wonderful gift that
GOD has given you to share with others.
It's
easy to do... just pray the
following prayer from your heart and mind (
Seat #2):
“Father, I know deep inside that my sins have separated me from you. Please
forgive me. I
believe that your son, Jesus Christ, died for my sins, was resurrected
from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become
the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day
forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do
Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”
Thanks for stopping by.
And remember... if you're not happy with where you are today, and you
keep doing what you did in the past, then you'll keep getting in the
future what you've got right now!
